Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My feet surprised me
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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