...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
