Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
