are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
