I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
