is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
