So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dick very happy bro
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
