dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
