Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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