remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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