I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
