If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
