I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize