Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
