AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
