and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
