My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
