the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize