Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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