And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm too high and old for this...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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