the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
