dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize