this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
