is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
