you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize