the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
