ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
