I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
