How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
