like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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