haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
