they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He felt like a one man threesome
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
