Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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