I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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