Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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