Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
