I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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