Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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