I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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