That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
