He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
