She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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