he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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