Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
