barbara walters just said penis...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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