Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize