the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
