I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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