Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
