i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
