The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
