hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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