Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
