I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize