Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
