Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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