my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
