Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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