So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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