It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Everclear isn't food dammit
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
