Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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