Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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