$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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