brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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