Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and she was petting her beer can
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
