when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize