Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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