Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I still have a little drunk in my system
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
