I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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