maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
