I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
