That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
