I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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