Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize